The Falls of FUBAR

Flowing energy rushes toward the edge, a slave to its inevitable fate. It builds and builds and builds some more, unwilling to compromise.

Suddenly, it slips.

For a few precious seconds it suspends high in the air, engaging in a soundless symphony.

Then, it falls.

The finale is deafening, like cymbals clanging against the bottom of an unforgiving pit. This masterpiece draws us in – millions year after year.

Niagara Falls.

Embarking on a road trip to Montreal made this a no-brainer overnight stop for us. Mr. H and I booked a crappy chain hotel on the Canadian side, followed our trusty electronic maps, and strapped Ken Follett the cow in his seat.

ken the cow on the road

Along the way we admired Provence upstate New York…

upstate new york

Ten lengthy hours after leaving Milwaukee, we arrived.

It was dark. And the border crossing at Niagara Falls, Canada was completely FUBAR.

Labor Day weekend. Border strike. FUBAR.

There’s something bittersweet about driving across North America, making it to your destination in decent spirits – cramping with hunger, aching from head to toe, delicates lodged in places – and being trapped with all the other bleary-eyed, naive tourists in this…

traffic at niagara falls

…for a freaking hour.

Naturally, Mr. H. wasn’t havin’ it. I love him even more for rescuing us from our gridlock hell to nowhere. My hero!

Destined to sleep in our truck on the side of a potholed street, we stumbled into a nearby hotel and luckily they were able to accommodate us. (Nothing like flushing money down the shitter on that unreachable hotel on the Canadian side, eh?)

As usual, we made the best of the situation. We lowered our standards and gleefully stuffed our faces in the familiar chain restaurant attached to the joint.

Mediocre fried food. Cold beer. We were saved.

Feeling tipsy, our sanity obviously questionable, we decided to go to the casino across the street to drink our touristy sorrows away and people watch. We’re not gamblers, so this environment fascinates us.

casino
After a while, what initially seemed intriguing became ho-hum, borderline depressing, and our eyes became heavy. So we stumbled back to our hotel, scented with cigarettes and defeat.

The next day, despite our irritation with the whole charade, we went to the damn falls. We were a tough crowd, but Mother Nature won us over with her minxy appeal.

The credit card bill, the slot machines, and the traffic disappeared in that moment.

niagara fallsniagara falls
Niagara Falls…are they really worth it? The blood, the sweat, the tears?

Hell yeah they are!

How the cynic became a sap

kiss

I never dreamed of the white dress.

While we’re at it, I never thought much about white picket fences either. Hey, I grew up in a modest condo in Southern California.

My parents divorced when I was six. I remember it like it was yesterday.

I hid in the My Little Pony tent on my bed until I heard the front door slam shut, signifying the finale of “Mom Just Moved Out”, a play I never wanted to see. I peeked my head out and saw my dad sitting on the floor, his face covered by his hands.

All I could do was put my arm around him. It’s all I had.

We did the joint custody thing. Dad most of the time and mom every other weekend. It was odd living out of a suitcase when I hung out with my mom, but we did our best.

I have two half-sisters and one half-brother. None of us grew up together.

A smattering of step-siblings trickled in and out of my life for years. It was always a strange dynamic with them: we played together, we ate together, we pretended to be this makeshift family.

It never worked…we were strangers playing house.

But, this story isn’t about having it hard growing up. I know, compared to many, my childhood was a piece of cake.

The outcome of it all was a cynic – a young one. I grew up thinking love was a sham. Marriage was just a joke to me, the kind I rolled my eyes over.

From a young age, I vowed never to marry. Why the hell should I even bother? All I could see was heartbreak, callousness, and paperwork.

Then, somebody came along to prove me wrong. My husband. My soul.

When we first saw each other…we just knew we were meant for one another. It’s cliché, I know. But damn, what’s wrong with a little cliché?

This year we celebrated eight magnificent years of marriage. We’ve been through it all together – we’re war buddies, we’re best friends.

Now I believe in something different, that love is available to all of us. We just have to accept it, then hang onto it for dear life.

Well, that’s how the cynic became a sap.

My toes are SO famous right now.

sirsasana

No seriously. My toes are SO famous right now.

My good friend at toemail featured my recent post So you want to take a media vacay – along with my toes…naturally. My toes (and I’m hoping my writing) has rounded up over 60 likes already over at their super fun place.

Score!

This is actually the second time my toes have made an appearance over at toemail. Of course that was way back when nobody knew this little blog even existed. My toes have had a rough life, what with being shoved in pointe shoes during my former dancing years and ridiculous high heels countless other years.

Be sure to stop by and give my toes a “like”!

Also, thank you ALL for participating in the Pick Your Favorite Britt Pic poll. There was a tie between two images, so I tinkered with the lighting a bit to marry the two ideas.

The new profile pic you’ll be seeing all over the damn place is this guy…

britt skrabanek

Okie dokie, artichokes. Enjoy your Sundays…eat amazing food, get outside, and hug someone neat!

Pick Your Favorite Britt Pic!

Britt Skrabanek 2

Being the antsy gal that I am, I figured it’s about that time to change up the ole profile pic all over the online kingdom. Since I loathe making final decisions most of the time…you guys get to vote!

Pick your fave down below. Voting ends next Saturday the 29th. Thanks a bunch!