How the cynic became a sap


I never dreamed of the white dress.

While we’re at it, I never thought much about white picket fences either. Hey, I grew up in a modest condo in Southern California.

My parents divorced when I was six. I remember it like it was yesterday.

I hid in the My Little Pony tent on my bed until I heard the front door slam shut, signifying the finale of “Mom Just Moved Out”, a play I never wanted to see. I peeked my head out and saw my dad sitting on the floor, his face covered by his hands.

All I could do was put my arm around him. It’s all I had.

We did the joint custody thing. Dad most of the time and mom every other weekend. It was odd living out of a suitcase when I hung out with my mom, but we did our best.

I have two half-sisters and one half-brother. None of us grew up together.

A smattering of step-siblings trickled in and out of my life for years. It was always a strange dynamic with them: we played together, we ate together, we pretended to be this makeshift family.

It never worked…we were strangers playing house.

But, this story isn’t about having it hard growing up. I know, compared to many, my childhood was a piece of cake.

The outcome of it all was a cynic – a young one. I grew up thinking love was a sham. Marriage was just a joke to me, the kind I rolled my eyes over.

From a young age, I vowed never to marry. Why the hell should I even bother? All I could see was heartbreak, callousness, and paperwork.

Then, somebody came along to prove me wrong. My husband. My soul.

When we first saw each other…we just knew we were meant for one another. It’s cliché, I know. But damn, what’s wrong with a little cliché?

This year we celebrated eight magnificent years of marriage. We’ve been through it all together – we’re war buddies, we’re best friends.

Now I believe in something different, that love is available to all of us. We just have to accept it, then hang onto it for dear life.

Well, that’s how the cynic became a sap.

24 thoughts on “How the cynic became a sap

  1. Happy eight years, Brit. You two are one of my favorite couples ever. I like watching the two of you interact with one another because you can *feel* just how much you love each other. And it is beautiful.

    I’m happy you found each other because your love story is beautiful!

  2. Britt – you just proofed me right when I keep telling our girls “… never say never…” there is always somebody around the corner waiting to love you. I believe in love (even if this might sound oldfashioned) and I was lucky one, and now again for the past 12 years.

  3. I love a beautiful love story, and such a well-told one at that! Having the right man by one’s side makes life all the more special 🙂

    That photo is ADORABLE!

    1. Thanks, doll. And, yes…the right man makes life ridiculously special. We took that photo in the back of a NY cab. It was winter outside, one of those awesome spontaneous moments.

  4. I am glad he makes you happy. I am in a bit of a cynic stage myself right now, but not because I don’t believe in love, it’s just choosing the right person to love who will be there not only to love you but to support you as well.

  5. Enjoyed reading your Blog My Dear… especially the part about a smattering of step-siblings coming in and out of your life….LOL. Well guess what? You have 3 more:-)….and they are dying to meet you.. Hey, I wasn’t ever planning on marrying again…and for 16 yrs. I was well on my way…and then “bang” from out of nowhere she walked into my life and at Karaoke Bar of all places…she and her friend sat next to me at the bar and I encourged her to sing…Wow…she sang like a bird and we became friends.. she was much younger than I shyed away for about 4 months until I asked her out on a date…She said “What took you so long”? After all I’ve been through in my life, I was afraid to take that step again… but this sweet kind woman with a great heart and “Loves Music”…won my heart… Hence…we’ve been married for 20 months…a little un-orthodox situation, but one that will last……so I went from a sap to a cynic and back to becoming a happy Sac….I’m so proud to have a daughter and a Son-In-Law who loves you as much as I love you….
    With Much Love,

  6. I don’t know how I missed this post before. It’s so emotionally-charged. I could envision it all so clearly. I think you’re one of the strong ones; one of the survivors who learned what paths NOT to go down. Remember, we are not destined to live our parents’ lives.

Speak your beautiful mind

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.