Once upon a time I called myself a dancer. I danced my whole life until the end of last year when quite suddenly…I stopped.
No more teaching, no more leotards, no more performances. Just like that.
Such a monumental transition in my life was very hard for me to swallow, and most of 2013 was spent figuring out who I was beyond the dancer. When you’ve been doing something for over twenty years, it has a way of becoming a part of you.
I wrote I Found Some Change, which some of you may remember, when it all happened.
Recently Mr. H was out of town and I had this crazy urge to dance.
It was dark, the cats were asleep, and uncharacteristically I felt lonely. So I threw on jeans and a tank top, some music, and filmed this in one shot.
It wasn’t about choreography or perfection, it was simply about moving.
Mr. H threw in some nifty video effects after he saw it. So even though we were apart when it started, we came together to create something in the end.
The video is silent, due to music rights mumbo jumbo that I didn’t want to mess with on YouTube. But I realized that the silence itself was beautiful, because when I move everything becomes still and quiet. The music, even the sound of my own breath.
This project taught me that entirely letting go of something isn’t always the right thing to do. The dancer is still inside and I’m OK with it being right there.
39 thoughts on “The Urge to Dance”
Damn girl!! Sorry that’s all I could muster up & clearly the hick in me just jumped out!! LMAO. On a serious note, that was one hellacious sexy dance. And that’s coming from a heterosexual woman married for 30 years! lol. Your dance was completely passionate, soulful & uninhibited, & you conveyed that in every move. How proud you must be to be blessed with this gift. I remember once my father was reading from his bible (he was a minister) the story of John The Baptist. He told me that dancing then, was done with the intent of conveying a message. In this case, it was the infamous beheading of John the Baptist. I was only thirteen, and thought…. What in the heck does that mean? You can say something with a dance? My dear, you just proved that theory right. Although yours wouldn’t relieve a man of their head, it might their heart!!!! Merry Christmas to you & yours & thank you for sharing your gift with us.
Wow, thank you so very much for your awesome compliments and your share on Twitter. All very sweet of you to say. Happy Christmas to you!
Sounds like you had a case of Dancer’s Block, but now you’re coming out of it. 🙂 Like you said, the dancer inside you will always be there. I’m glad you know that.
It definitely feels good to open back up to dancing after closing down. But the little dancer will reside inside. It’s a nice place to be.
Thanks, Ms. Gail! Happy New Year!
I danced for many years as well, Britt. Latin. When I moved to Mexico I stopped dancing in public,for the most part, they don’t(oddly) play that kind of music here. But everyday I put some music and dance, alone in my tiny house or on the patio, to Madonna(so much dance music is latin based) or Marc Anthony, just feels necessary to me. I enjoyed your dance. Thank you for sharing. Abby
Awesome, Abby! I was just dancing to Madonna last night in my little apartment.
It feels good to dance just for ourselves, doesn’t it? Any performer gives tremendously, so coming back to the purest joy of why we started moving in the first place is a fantastic thing to hold onto. Keep groovin’ and I’ll do the same. : )
[…] this time last year, after a lifetime of dancing, I stopped. It wasn’t even a planned thing, it just happened. I became deeply involved with my Yoga […]
I danced for thirteen years. I don’t think the urge to dance has ever left my body, although it visits less and less. Kudos on your decision to let out the dancer!
I don’t think the urge to dance can leave our bodies when we’ve been moving for so long. Here’s to more dancing, even if nobody can see it. : )