The Urge to Dance

Once upon a time I called myself a dancer. I danced my whole life until the end of last year when quite suddenly…I stopped.

No more teaching, no more leotards, no more performances. Just like that.

Such a monumental transition in my life was very hard for me to swallow, and most of 2013 was spent figuring out who I was beyond the dancer. When you’ve been doing something for over twenty years, it has a way of becoming a part of you.

I wrote I Found Some Change, which some of you may remember, when it all happened.

Recently Mr. H was out of town and I had this crazy urge to dance.

It was dark, the cats were asleep, and uncharacteristically I feltΒ  lonely. So I threw on jeans and a tank top, some music, and filmed this in one shot.

It wasn’t about choreography or perfection, it was simply about moving.

Mr. H threw in some nifty video effects after he saw it. So even though we were apart when it started, we came together to create something in the end.

The video is silent, due to music rights mumbo jumbo that I didn’t want to mess with on YouTube. But I realized that the silence itself was beautiful, because when I move everything becomes still and quiet. The music, even the sound of my own breath.

This project taught me that entirely letting go of something isn’t always the right thing to do. The dancer is still inside and I’m OK with it being right there.

39 thoughts on “The Urge to Dance

  1. Sheila says:

    Dancing is such a great way to celebrate life so I’m happy to hear you had that urge to dance! I love the silence too. If I could dance like that, I don’t think I’d ever stop.

    • Britt Skrabanek says:

      Absolutely. I got really stuck in dancing officially in the studio, performing, etc. for many years and I lost some of the joy along the way. Feels good to rediscover it in an unofficial sense. Thanks for your sweetness.

      • Sheila says:

        I know what that’s like! I worked as a reporter for too long and lost a lot of the joy for writing during that time because it felt like factory writing. It’s great to rediscover the joy again!

      • Britt Skrabanek says:

        Totally. I went through a writing dry spell during college from all of those hefty papers I had to write. Later I worked for a non-profit and they thought I would be the best grant writer ever…boring. Sucked the life/joy right out of me. It’s smart to keep the things we love so much separate from obligations.

    • Britt Skrabanek says:

      Exactly. Though, besides teaching, I didn’t get paid much. But even in performing, with the goal of entertaining an audience in mind, the original love for dancing can get shoved off to the side. Thank you, Alarna!

  2. Gallivanta says:

    Thanks for the link to I Found Some Change; helped me to understand how you could still be so supple and graceful after a year away from dance πŸ™‚ Very effective silent video.

  3. Inion N. Mathair says:

    Damn girl!! Sorry that’s all I could muster up & clearly the hick in me just jumped out!! LMAO. On a serious note, that was one hellacious sexy dance. And that’s coming from a heterosexual woman married for 30 years! lol. Your dance was completely passionate, soulful & uninhibited, & you conveyed that in every move. How proud you must be to be blessed with this gift. I remember once my father was reading from his bible (he was a minister) the story of John The Baptist. He told me that dancing then, was done with the intent of conveying a message. In this case, it was the infamous beheading of John the Baptist. I was only thirteen, and thought…. What in the heck does that mean? You can say something with a dance? My dear, you just proved that theory right. Although yours wouldn’t relieve a man of their head, it might their heart!!!! Merry Christmas to you & yours & thank you for sharing your gift with us.

  4. vsvevg says:

    I danced for many years as well, Britt. Latin. When I moved to Mexico I stopped dancing in public,for the most part, they don’t(oddly) play that kind of music here. But everyday I put some music and dance, alone in my tiny house or on the patio, to Madonna(so much dance music is latin based) or Marc Anthony, just feels necessary to me. I enjoyed your dance. Thank you for sharing. Abby

    • Britt Skrabanek says:

      Awesome, Abby! I was just dancing to Madonna last night in my little apartment.

      It feels good to dance just for ourselves, doesn’t it? Any performer gives tremendously, so coming back to the purest joy of why we started moving in the first place is a fantastic thing to hold onto. Keep groovin’ and I’ll do the same. : )

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