We love, therefore we are.

dancing
Photo by Andrea Hill Johnson

There have been a lot of emotions burning today, running wild like a forest fire in a vicious drought.

When tragedies happen, we curl our hands into fists as we feel so hard even though we are helpless. And we often don’t know what to do with ourselves.

It is times like these when we must remember to keep our hearts open. Just love, because it is the most important thing we can ever do. If we keep doing this, we win – even when all seems lost.

Stop the anger. Go with the love.

We love, therefore we are.

Stop Farting Around

Dishes

Dishes and math. Yes, these are the two things I would gladly excommunicate from my life.

For someone who loves cleaning, the endless task of dishes was, and forever shall remain, an endless pain in the ass.

I know you can sympathize.

You scan the crusty plates and silverware in a loathing manner, sizing them up yet internally pleading: “Why, why are you back in my life again, you uninvited stinkers?”

You give yourself a pep talk, pumping yourself up for the mundane. You finally do the dirty and a little while later – Damn! There’s another foul-scented bastard vying for your attention.

And, math.

I’ve never been a fan of that vindictive subject where a solitary answer – and one answer only – is the right one. If you get super close or even if you make the common mistake, inviting a sense of camaraderie for your bruised psyche, you’re still WRONG.

But, math is useful.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’ve heard that one before!

I’m kidding. I know it serves a purpose with its haughty digits and conceited logic. I just always preferred words to numbers. They’re so much lovelier.

My dad always used to say two infuriating things to me about procrastination.

1) “With all that energy you used up, you could’ve done it already.”

Let’s just say I had a flair for the dramatic when I was younger. I was a good kid, but I raised hell when I didn’t get my way. And, if you think a little girl bawling and rolling around on the floor in agony works on a single dad…you’re sadly mistaken.

The damn sham didn’t work.

So, then I came back with the classic argument: “But, I don’t wanna.”

And, that brings us to…

2) “Come on, it builds character.”

After saying this, my dad went about his usual business. Then I would scribble math problems so ferociously on that lined notebook paper, I would break the pencil. I would make a bunch of racket in the kitchen, sighing with gusto, but cringing when I almost broke a dish.

Eventually, the temper tantrum would subside. The task was completed, and all the turmoil was quickly forgotten, like a mediocre joke.

When we’re young, we are told to do things. But as we grow up, we’re pretty much on our own. Sure at work there are managers, superiors, and big shots waltzing the ever-seductive deadline dance.

Yet, there is one time when we govern ourselves…our free time.

We have full reign over this precious time. And, what do we do?

We smother it with other obligations while our dreams stew quietly on the back burner. Swift and graceful, time passes us by and we realize all the things we wanted to do haven’t been done at all.

Dad isn’t keeping me in check with his catchy reprimands. At home, the boss isn’t tapping her feisty heel with her manicured hands on her hips.

Procrastination…she’s a sneaky bitch!

I have heard something consistently over the years, and I suppose it is a compliment. “I don’t know how you do it all.”

My big, dark secret is that I don’t ever feel like I’m doing enough. But, the things I manage to squeeze into the day-to-day grind are the result of passion and determination. I guess Dad and his relentless words of wisdom got in a little.

As most of you know I have a full-time day job, I’m working on my Yoga teaching certification, I do this blog thing, and I write books. Oh yeah, I’m blissfully married too. No rugrats though, just a couple of incorrigible felines.

It would be so much simpler for me to give up my dreams, to tuck my aspirations of writing and teaching for a living far, far away.

It’s not that easy for me to sit down at my computer on week nights and weekends to accomplish my writing goals. It’s not math homework, and it sure as hell ain’t dishes, but I could be doing a lot of other things.

I could spend more time with my loving family, watch bad television for the hell of it, sleep a little more, and lose myself in all the books I want.

Maybe even try that foreign concept…relaxing.

Yep, I could just walk away. But, I wouldn’t be building any character, now would I?

So, how do we deal with that clever minx called procrastination?

We have to reason with a thing called time. We are privileged to be here, to live a life surrounded by possibilities.

We have the power to do anything we want. Anything.

Dad was right.

The energy we’re expelling on the wishing can be channeled into the doing.

In other words stop farting around, get your butt in gear, and go do something awesome.

Spring Cleaning in Five Difficult Steps

Dancer's Pose Natarajasana

A lot of “better living” advice starts flying around this time of year, specifically targeting spring cleaning.

There are a couple of different methods out there.

There’s the popular approach: cleaning behind your fridge, organizing your sock drawer, or scrubbing the floors with a Disney princess toothbrush.

Then, there’s the unpopular approach…you know, life beyond your closet.

By April, New Year’s resolutions have been carelessly swept under the rug. Eat healthy, exercise more, drink less, quit smoking…any of those yours?

Although spring is rather different than that balls-to-the-wall ambition for the new year.

Our desires are more humble, more in tune with nature. The blooming and budding stirs something inside of us – a need to grow with our surroundings and a yearning for fresh simplicity.

We often think that a little scrub-a-dub-dub is all we need for renewal.

While spick and span is fine and dandy, the bigger question is…what else should we be cleaning out of our lives?

MESSY OBLIGATIONS

Does your free time mirror your work life with appointments, checklists, and deadlines? I realize there are errands and social engagements, but do you really need to run around all the freaking time?

Not taking time out for yourself – some uninterrupted me time – is like inviting stress to bed with you. Stress not only ages us, it can slowly kill us.

Mop that shit up!  Try squeezing in your errands during the week after work when you’re already in that busy bee mode. Or get up early and knock them out on your weekend, so you can have the rest of your day. Brunch with so-and-so, cocktails with those guys, and hosting dinner parties for a herd of people is fine here and there. There’s no need to go all out all the time. Try something less “see and be seen” like staying in your jammies all day and not brushing your hair.

TOXIC INDIVIDUALS

Speaking of so-and-so’s, what do those relationships really have to offer?

I’m not talking about the wonderful people you can count on no matter what, the ones you trust with your life. You know who these toxic culprits are. To name a few: random acquaintances, oversized social circles, and Negative Nancies.

Yeah, it sounds harsh.

But guess what shouldn’t be taken lightly? Spending time with people that either don’t bring any fulfillment or worse, harm you in some way. Also, they take time away from the people you want/should be around more.

Disinfect that shit!  It’s time for the old pros and cons list. Honestly, it’s one of the best ways to stand back and logically examine the so-and-so’s. Once you’ve done that, then you have to deal with your decision. You can either tell them to their face or you can just fade out. The fade out is often easier than you might think, because sorry to tell you, you probably were as equally unimportant in their lives as they were in yours.

CLOGGED ACTIVITIES

Have you been doing something forever, so you just keep on doing it? This can be a hobby or a form of exercise.

Although it’s wonderful to be creative and stay active, make sure you are totally in love with it. Just because you’re good at something doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it.

In fact, this encourages a case of the blahs.

Where’s the challenge when you’ve been there, done that? Where’s the high when something has plateaued?

Ho-hum creative endeavors are not making you a more cultured person. And, lackluster exercise routines are not doing anything wonderful for your body.

Why? Because you’re effing bored.

Pour some drain cleaner down that shit!  It’s time to move on. I know it’s hard, especially if you’ve been doing it forever and you feel that in some way it defines you. But, it doesn’t. Take up something new, that something you’ve been secretly wanting to try but haven’t had time for. Who cares if you feel like an idiot? You’re learning and growing. Sometimes we have to look a little goofy.

FILTHY HARASSMENT

Commercials, ads, and email marketing infiltrate our very lives like a team of termites.

This is a consumer-driven world we live in, and unless you go native, you’re gonna have to deal with it.

Yet, there is so much we allow voluntarily.

Do you give cashiers your email address when they ask? Do you sign up for e-mail lists just so you can score a discount?

Bam! You’re being stalked by marketers. And, you asked for it.

Trash that shit!  You don’t have to give out your email address to, well…anyone. Leave it blank on the form and decline politely when asked. It’s OK to say no. If you do sign up for the sake of a deal, you can unsubscribe after you’ve used the promo. It’s sneaky, but so are they. That initial coupon is just to butter you up. They’ll be harassing you on a regular basis after that…until the end of time.

CLUTTERED MIND

The previously mentioned life trash dumps stress, negativity, boredom, and irritation on our minds. Our lives are hectic enough as they are, but there is one phenomenal way to tidy up our minds….

Wipe down that shit!  Meditate. It works…simple as that. Even if you can only squeeze in 5-10 minutes a day, the effects are long-lasting and spotless.

Hey, I was very up front about these steps not being the easy kind. I’m not Martha Stewart, I’m Britt Skrabanek and I like to dish out the tough love sometimes.

So, put your damn hot pink rubber gloves on and start your spring cleaning!

Breaking Up Isn’t Hard to Do

ice melting milwaukee

Doo, doo, doo down doo be do down, down
Go on, go on
Down doo be do down, down
Go on, go on
Down doo be do down, down
Breaking up isn’t hard to do

Go take your snow away from me
I don’t care, I don’t even ski
If you stay then I’ll just sue
’cause lawsuits aren’t hard to do

Remember when I held myself tight
And shivered all through the night
Think of all that I’ve been through
’cause winters are hard to do

They say that breaking up is hard to do
Now I know, I know it’s NOT true
Please say that this is the end
Instead of making up
I wish that we were breaking up again

I beg of you no more grey skies
I’m done with all your ice and lies
Come on Spring let’s start a new
’cause breaking up isn’t hard to do

It’s a sing-along! If only I had one of those bouncy balls to go across the lyrics. Remember those?

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Neil Sedaka (feel free to join in!)…

The G-Rated Deal

under the blanket
Yep, that’s me.

I always wanted to watch the Planet Earth series, and Mr. H and I got it for Christmas last year on Blu Ray.

Let’s just say we have an arrangement when it comes to watching these types of things. I do other things and Mr. H gets my attention when something cute or pretty comes on.

I spent most of Disc 1 of Planet Earth hiding under a blanket. Why?

Well, you know everything was all hunky-dory.

Gorgeous Earth showed off her sexy self left and right – her flowery mane, her pointy peaks, her undulating sea hips, and her long tree legs.

The animals started off sprightly and entertaining.

Baby versions gave me a case of the ubiquitous female sigh – awwwww. I wanted to snuggle with them, even the ones that would surely bite my ass.

Then, comes that inevitable moment…you know which one. When the animals decide to turn into Hannibal Lecter’s.

And, that’s when I cower beneath my raggedy blanket, my protective shield, praying for an end to the graphic meal in HD (for our benefit).

Mr. H. shouts things like…

“Not yet. No, definitely not yet!”

Or my personal fave…

“Don’t come out of there. It’s NOT safe!”

I know it’s the cycle of life and all that. But, I just can’t.

If I had it my way, nature documentaries would only show the following:

  1. Interesting weather phenomena
  2. Bold and colorful flora and fauna
  3. Baby animals before they get eaten
  4. Vegetarian meals only

Alas, I know this is not often the case.

Lucky for me I can sometimes experience censored cuteness and prettiness because I have Mr. H and the G-Rated Deal.

How about you guys out there? Do you hide under blankets too or is just me?