Love is About Us and Nothing Else

Mr. H and I quietly celebrated our 15-year wedding anniversary this past week. It was the quietest celebration we’ve ever had. No romantic getaway, no dinner date. It was just us. In our apartment where we work and sleep.

There is one thing this year has taught many of us…introspection.

Whether you wanted to be introspective or not, turning inward was something you ended up doing during the quarantine. That introspection brought many realizations you might not have been prepared to face. That introspection made your life flash before your eyes, but in slow motion. That introspection made you stop and notice the birds for a change.

FOMO was eliminated. There was no longer a need to fear that you were missing out on anything, because nothing was going on. Social media posts changed from fashionable ensembles to sweat pants, from exotic destinations to messy living rooms, from being seen to being seen by no one.

Home life got real. Married couples grappled with an issue they never thought would be an issue…spending too much time together.

Suddenly, “up close and personal” became the norm. You realized you never knew your partner chewed food quite like that. You realized they sound like they are practically screaming on conference calls, their typing is deafening, and their incessant pacing shakes the entire house.

It’s easy to get swept up in the good ole days, especially when it’s time to celebrate an occasion. People around the world have been mourning the celebrations they couldn’t have—weddings, graduations, births, birthdays, and anniversaries.

We all got very used to celebrating with other humans in other places. Our memories are filled with these outward experiences and interactions.

Every anniversary for us either involved a trip or a restaurant. This was the first year where we looked at each other and said: Hmmm. What the hell are we going to do?

The answer wasn’t, “Nothing.” Or, “Let’s take a rain check.” The answer was to enjoy a quiet celebration. To have a lovely/chill time together, without the need of being somewhere or doing something.

The experience made me appreciate our love even more, because there was nothing else to distract us—nothing else that could come between us. Love is really between two people. It’s about us and it doesn’t need to be about anything besides that.

I was reminded of our Vegas wedding, back when we were pups in 2005. People are always shocked to hear that we got married in Vegas, but we did it because it was easy. We wanted a destination wedding that wasn’t a pain in the ass, in a location where family and friends could attend if they wanted to.

The ceremony was small and stress-free. It was about us and nothing else. I’m happy friends and family came to share the day with us, but there was nobody else in the room but him.

This is a misstep many couples make. Couples focus on having big expensive weddings and giving elaborate anniversary gifts. They allow external forces to come between them, from financial problems to work drama. They forget about the foundation love is built upon, which is the two people that love each other.

In a way, I think we wandered away from our foundation by thinking we needed to celebrate in some specific outing every year. This year we didn’t have that option. By not having unlimited options to choose from, we focused on our foundation.

The day was about us and nothing else. I don’t have any pictures from that day. We didn’t do much of anything besides be with each other. Fifteen years later, it was a good reminder to focus on the foundation and remember why we’re still here together.

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Last week I announced my new podcast, Love Your Enthusiasm, which will be launching soon. Quick update that I’m still waiting on getting the show approved before we go live on your favorite listening apps. I will keep you all updated on the launch date as I know more.

In the meantime, I will be sharing episode teasers on the Love Your Enthusiasm social channels. If you’re not following yet, you know what to do…

• Instagram – @loveyourenthusiasm
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• LinkedIn – @love-your-enthusiasm
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