wisconsin winter

How to Survive the Effing Winter


I can’t take credit for this amazing pic as it was flying around the social media world.

It sums up most of our feelings in the Northern Hemisphere during this (fingers crossed) last hurrah of winter, and inspired me to write a sassy post on survival tactics.

This is not a post about rainbows and unicorns. It’s not about my usual good vibes and “Go Life!” mentality.

This is real man, and it might get ugly.

Some of you live in places where there is no winter. I remember, I used to live there, too. Foolishly happy in a land boasting sunshine, leaves, and a welcoming breeze.

Run, save yourselves!!!

This post is for the rest of us. Those stuck in the “cold, gray, bucket of suck” in the worst of all wintry months…DUN-DUN-DUN…February.

By the end of this fateful month last year, I was teetering on clinically insane when I wrote Winter, you can kiss my pasty ass.

I’ve arrived a little earlier this year. Perhaps because this winter was less than desirable.

Sunshine? What is this you speak of? No grey and gloom? I don’t believe you…just go, man. Just go.

Leaves? I only see crypt keeper looking branches covered in – you guessed it – freaking snow. They point and laugh at me when I bust my ass on the icy sidewalk and land in a greasy, muddy pile of slush.

Welcoming breeze? For the first time in life, I’ve battled snotcicles. Funny, I thought I was being cute creating this word and urbandictionary.com beat me to it.

Does this sound pretty…

snotcicle…nope, it doesn’t.

Okay, okay. You catch my snowdrift. (Sorry, it was right there.)

So, how do we survive these final days of dreariness and desperation? Hell, if I know.

But, here are some tips I came up with to share with you all.

  1. Listen to Latin Music  I can’t explain it, but it works like a champ. Spicy food, warm beaches, and strong drinks with those bright umbrellas are comforting visuals. Plus, a little rump shaking will help keep you warm. One of my faves is Argentinian singer Federico Aubele, who blends several genres brilliantly and takes you somewhere far, far away.
  2. Eat and Drink Warmth  Trade the salads in for soups and healthy comfort foods. I know it’s tempting to get ahead of ourselves with the promise of spring on the horizon and go for the cold, but don’t. You’ll be shivering…again. I recently came across a yummy warm drink that has been a lifesaver. It’s a lemony ginger tonic courtesy of the always wonderful Laura Plumb from Food: A Love Story. You can grab the rockin’ recipe here.
  3. Lose Yourself In Creativity The past few years I made the mistake of working on novels straight through summer. Never again will I hole up when I should be frolicking. Whether you’re exploring your own creative mind or somebody else’s through books, films, etc., take advantage of the somber mood to go deep inside your mind and gain inspiration.
  4. Oil Up, Tin Man  Cracked lips, bloody noses, and itchy legs sound familiar? It’s dry as hell, so oil up. One of my saviors has been an Ayurvedic health routine called Abhyanga, where you warm up sesame oil, optionally mix in essential oils for scent, and massage yourself from head to toe. It’s AMAZING! Also, coconut oil is great all around. To fight off those pesky snotcicles, give your nose some love by dabbing a little coconut oil and tea tree oil up there before you head out the door.
  5. Move Your Buns  Motivation is hard to drum up…I get it. But, any sort of activity will help keep you energized and less cuckoo. If anything, amp up your workout rather than abandoning it. Yoga practice, for example, should be heated and moving to not only make sure the bod is ready for postures, but also to revive your lethargic ass.

Alright, snow bunnies…your turn. How do you survive the effing winter?

snow bunny

(Next week on a physical perspective, we will return to our regularly scheduled POSITIVE programming. Promise.)

45 thoughts on “How to Survive the Effing Winter

  1. Ha, the joke’s on you. I already live in Denmark—the land of permanently grey and rainy weather. You can’t faze me. I am invincible. Nothing scares….ah who am I kidding, I am so depressed. Pass me that soup.

  2. Well, we just had our 4th snow day this school year, which means now the kids don’t get out of school until June 20th. The one happy piece to a snow day is that I get three times as much writing time in because I’m stuck inside! Woo hoo!

    BTW, I got your email — I’m totally in, but I’ll send you an “official” reply this weekend. 🙂 Thanks for including me.

    1. What a bummer on getting out of school later! I was so naive about how all of that worked for the kids and spent most of my life being jealous without those snow days, not knowing that summer was the make-up time.

      Yes, snow does help us sit our butts down to write…for sure!

      Yay on the life enthusiast! You’ll be awesome. : )

  3. It wasn’t so negative Britt – at least you can still come up with positive tips 🙂 I think dogs are one of the answers – yes, you have to go out in the horrible weather, but you also get to experience the things you wouldn’t see if you were holed up inside and get some exercise at the same time! Otherwise, I’m definitely in agreement that you use the cold weather as an excuse to stay inside and create.

  4. I spend a lot of time indoors and work on spring cleaning now so when spring arrives, I can just enjoy the weather. 😉

  5. Hahaha..funny, I actually made a ‘selfie’ of me with a ‘snotcicle’ (from a real icicle just so you know 😉

  6. How did I miss this post? Oh yeah… I still hadn’t signed up….
    I so hear you on this interminable winter! I live on the South Shore of Montreal and quite frankly, am done with the whole winter scene.. Zeke (my dog) loves it and loves the walks we take, even in the -25°C weather.
    I’d like to be able to go outside NOT dressed like an Eskimo now, OK?
    Amazingly, we have not had one snow day here! The timing was off for the kids…. hee hee hee…

    1. LOL! My husband and I just visited Montreal last September. Such a great city, but cold like ours I’m sure!

      I’m with you on the eskimo fashion…so ready for a new look.

      1. September is so warm now in this neck of the woods! I remember when we started school waaaaaay back when, we could wear our new leotards and wool skirts. Now? Sandals, t-shirts and shorts!
        Yeah, I’m totally done with the eskimo fashion… bring on the light cotton…

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