fiction – Page 3 – Britt Skrabanek

The Totem Pole Quest

On July 28th I was sent on a quest by fellow Kiwi blogger, Gallivanta from Silkannthreades. A totem pole quest.

For real?

Yep.

She dedicated a post to me in honor of the release of my third book, Nola Fran Evie. But the dedication came with a proviso…I had to locate a totem pole by Chief Lelooska somewhere in Portland.

The only clue Gallivanta provided was that a replica of the totem pole stood 7,000 miles away in Christchurch Airport, New Zealand. (Who knew?!)

And so I began my quest.

Totem Pole, I'm comin' to get ya! — Totem Pole, I’m comin’ to get ya!

HE WHO CUTS WOOD

Like any modern-day hero, I used my trusty compass, the Internet, to search for the totem pole. I wore a smug look on my face as I let Google do the work for me from the comfort of my home.

But, I couldn’t find its exact location.

However, I did step into the world of Chief Don “Lelooska” Smith, a great man who was given a great name at the age of 12—“He Who Cuts Against Wood with a Knife”.

And cut against wood with a knife is what he did…all his life in beautiful Oregon. The man carved thousands of masks and over a hundred totem poles, including the one I was hunting with the replica in New Zealand, until he died of cancer in 1996.

So, what’s with the New Zealand connection?

During the 1959 Oregon Centennial Exposition, the intricate pole was carved from cedar to honor Oregonian soldiers who participated in Operation Deep Freeze, a famous multinational series of exploratory missions to Antarctica during the late 1950s.

The base for Operation Deep Freeze was Christchurch Airport.

(And, you silly things never thought you’d learn anything on this blog.)

I was frustrated that I couldn’t find where the totem pole was today in Oregon and began to think that I was failing my mission. As I’m not the quitting type, I kept digging and digging and digging online, which eventually led me to…

THE OREGON ZOO???

Aha! I found you, Totem Pole!

Ecstatic, I called the zoo to plan my heroic visit. After weeks of online research I imagined staring proudly at the totem pole, and how I would gleefully show Gallivanta that I had completed the totem pole challenge in less than a month.

But…the totem pole wasn’t there.

I panicked. Surely the zoo didn’t get rid of this exceptional piece of tribal artistry that had been living there for decades. Surely not!

I talked to one person, then another person, and yet another person until I found Wayne, the mighty project engineer. He said…

THE TOTEM POLE’S IN THE SHOP

Last year the Oregon Zoo began a major transformation to create the Condors of Columbia, which opened in May, and Elephant Lands, a project I’m very excited about which is opening in 2015. This expansion will quadruple the space the elephants inhabit, drawing on more than fifty years of research and science-based care to build a natural environment to honor the animals.

Come on, who doesn’t love elephants?!

During this time, the pole underwent a hefty restoration process—repairing cracks and rot, as well as painting, cleaning and detailing the carving. It was an intense team effort led by Lelooska’s brother, Chief Fearon “Tsungani” Smith, assisted by zoo volunteers, and overseen by the Lelooska Foundation.

This totem pole’s kind of a big deal.

Wayne and the Oregon Zoo were excited to hear about my totem pole quest and were generous to bring my husband, Mr. H, and I to the zoo when the totem pole was back in action.

It was finally happening. Now at the end of September, I was coming to the end of my quest. I was beaming with pride, eager to see the elusive totem pole I had chased for two months.

Then, I did something so typically Britt…

I BOTCHED IT

I went on the wrong day, before the pole was resurrected.

Good one, Britt!

I know, I know. But, we made the best of it and enjoyed a leisurely stroll through the zoo.

The bear and I had matching outfits. — This bear and I had matching outfits.

This goat trio looked like they were posing for an album cover.

bobcat in cave — This bobcat let us hang out in his cave.

I skipped the carcass feeding. But Mr. H seemed satisfied.

THE OOPSY CONFESSION

The following Monday I sheepishly admitted my mistake to Wayne from the zoo. He was nice enough to pat me gently on the head and invite us back for another visit when the pole was actually there.

Then finally…

TOTEM POLE SUCCESS!!!

This is truly one of the best zoos I have ever been to and I look forward to Elephant Lands opening next year. A big thank you to Wayne and the Oregon Zoo for being so awesome during the totem pole quest.

Gallivanta, you stinker…totem pole quest COMPLETED! 🙂

The Lovers Bench Is Gone

The other day I learned some sad news when I went on my favorite hike. At the viewpoint, the lovers bench was gone. Forever.

Back in May I wrote a post called The Bench Where Lovers Had Been.

I usually do the same hike every week, about two hours round-trip from my house. Toward the end of the uphill hike, there are countless switchbacks to really make you work for it.

But at the top of the hill is the greatest reward, a downtown Portland and Mount Hood view enjoyed from the comfort of a weathered bench. The lovers bench.

I played a little fiction game each time I went up there. I’d pick out a couple carved in the bench, then make up a boy meets girl story in my head before heading back home.

Over the past few months this bench even inspired me to consider writing my first short story. (Consider, meaning I haven’t started a damn thing. But I intended to after more quality time with the bench.)

Anyhoo, this was the bench then…

This is the bench now…

So many professions of love tattooed on the decrepit wood had vanished. This strange, smooth wood no longer held stories of romance, foolishness, and hope.

The fresh and shiny bench didn’t woo me at all. To tell you the truth, this guy was kind of a son of a ~~bitch~~…um, bench.

Yep, he was a real son of a bench.

I preferred the refreshingly true one from before, all genuine and battered, even if it was a splinter in the butt waiting to happen.

Reluctantly I sat down on the impostor and sipped my water in silence. The city continued on below, as if it never had a single thought about that bench on the hill above.

My fingers ran across the perfectly even surface, searching for the charming grooves that were once embedded in the wood. Craving those carvings of love.

Then I looked down at the brand new black armrest and smiled.

There it was…the very first one. And, a new lovers bench was born.

I Came Back

I’m starting to realize an unsettling Something and I’m just gonna put it out there. We humans avoid self-reflection on purpose by staying so damn busy all the time.

We have full-time jobs, chores, obligations, and errands that must be done. We squeeze in time with family and friends when we can. We fit in exercise and passions, only if there’s time. We are glued to all of the shiny things the Internet has to offer—social media, blogs, news, recipes, the occasional celebrity gossip.

We have so much information available to us at any given moment. In fact, we carry a handheld device around with us to feed our hungry minds.

But, where are we in all of this? Treading water until we get so exhausted that we begin to sink.

Rather than drowning, I took matters into my own hands last year and tried a blogging and social media break, a clean mind sweep for two months. It’s my little way of going to a deserted island without leaving home.

This year, I only did a month. And, I came back.

But see, I meant to come back on October 1st. Then the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th went by quietly. At the end of my hiatus last month, I didn’t feel ready to come back. Not at all.

For inspiration I went back to my hiatus post to see if I completed my mission. I said…Most of all, I simply want to be.

It’s funny, because “being” isn’t simple at all. In fact, it’s effing hard.

WEEK ONE

I battled my ridiculous desire to check-in daily with my blog and social media accounts. Even with my email notifications turned off, muscle memory tricked me into pulling up Facebook on my laptop one night and Twitter on my phone another time during my lunch break. I quickly exited both times.

I realized the absent-minded habit I now possessed and yes, it was pretty freaky. I did my best to unlearn these habits and attempted to “simply be”.

That’s where things got a little dicey.

WEEK TWO

Every day I meditated peacefully in a forest, smiling as I reflected on the beauty within myself and the world around me. Not really.

When I wasn’t busy working and all the rest of it, I used my spare time to question what the hell I was doing with my life.

Mostly, I was coming down after self-publishing my third book, Nola Fran Evie. “Another book out, and still no signs of fame and fortune,” she thought sarcastically.

Also, broadcasting my personal life on blogging and social media started to make me shudder. Though I try to come from a place of good, is what I’m putting out into the world actually meaningful? Or, am I just another chick with first world problems talking about herself and taking selfies?

It was a rough week, needless to say. But then, Mr. H drove my sorry ass to the beach and this happened…

WEEK THREE

I stood in the sand and watched the sea, and guess what? I didn’t need to search or attempt, because I started that “simply be” thing I’ve been yapping about. I stopped getting down on myself and chose instead to see the good in me.

That moment I knew that I was doing alright with life.

WEEK FOUR

My hiatus was coming to an end. The big comeback blog post was looming. Shit.

I didn’t know what to write about—me, the girl who calls herself a writer. I wasn’t ready to deal with all of the waiting notifications and updates. I wanted to stay away, to keep my mystery, to viciously protect that small piece of me I found in September.

TODAY

At 8am I woke up to the sound of a trombone farting. Seriously.

Sunday morning. In the city. Trombone farts.

I wasn’t thrilled about it either, because I was having one of those lovely adult dreams you don’t want to wake up from—if you know what I mean. In the dream I was in the shower and my hunky husband was about to get in with me, then…trombone fart.

That brassy bastard.

My eyes flew open. The trombone farted proudly once again. What the hell?

Apparently, the Portland Marathon is today. Besides downtown, the route goes through our neighborhood as well. Two streets down there’s a block party with dance music and for some ungodly reason…trombone farts.

Surrendering to our fate, Mr H. and I put on some headphones and began our Sunday routine, drinking coffee in our chairs. I opened my laptop, then my WordPress page. I directed my mouse over to “Posts” and clicked on “Add New”.

My fingers started dancing across the keyboard, typing this nonsense. And, I was smiling big the whole time.

I came back.

A Haircut and A Hiatus

Yep, that is the tattooed forearm of my hairstylist showing off her latest hair trophy…my two long-ass ponytails. After painstakingly growing out my hair for the past five years, I decided it was time to chop it—to shed half a decade permanently and embrace the new.

It’s no wonder we gals get so attached to our hair. That hair’s been attached to us for years—through good times and bad, through boredom, through adventure, through love, and through sadness.

Of course, there is the obligatory idea that long hair on a woman is more beautiful, more youthful. We see celebrities wearing extensions to conceal their short hair from the public, we are told that only soccer moms and older women go short, and there’s a rumor that men prefer long hair.

Funny, but Mr. H likes short hair. Something about seeing my face better, which is quite sweet.

I had an interesting chat with one of our cool neighborhood bartenders a couple of days before the Great Ponytail Massacre. She was rocking a new pixie after a lifetime of Rapunzel hair. She felt liberated after letting it go and she looked it, like a weight had been lifted off her entire face and body.

As “pretty” as long hair can appear, I won’t miss the obscene shampoo budget or getting caught in car doors and automatic windows. The moment my ponytails were cut off, I didn’t get teary-eyed or feel regret.

I felt freaking awesome.

Now there is no mass of hair for me to hide behind. It’s just me.

Along with this newfound sense of freedom, I decided that it was time for me to take a hiatus. Last year I did a little experiment and took a two-month break from blogging and social media.

That’s right…cold turkey.

No weekly blogging. All email notifications of likes and comments were turned off. Commenters would receive responses after the hiatus.
No blog socializing. Though I kept up with my blogger buddies I am subscribed to through email, I refrained from my usual liking and commenting.
No social media. This included my Goodreads, Twitter, and Facebook accounts (personal and author). Email notifications were turned off and to avoid any slip-ups, all apps were removed from my smartphone.

It was my version of a going to a deserted island for a while. Though in reality I was still in Milwaukee, working in my cubicle, finishing my Yoga teacher training, and busting out my first draft of NOLA FRAN EVIE.

My intention for this experiment was to take some time away from the chatter to find focus, the kind that I was craving to achieve some personal milestones.

And, I did find it. Hell, I even nailed my first headstand after many months of hard work.

(If you want to read about my hiatus experiment last year, check out So You Want to Take a Media Vacay.)

This time my intention is quite different. Believe it or not, this go-getter doesn’t have any big life goals. The only thing I know is that I will hunt for inspiration through nature, books, and human experience.

I am searching for rejuvenation. Most of all, I simply want to be.

Rather than two months this year, I’ll be out for the month of September. I’ll still be keeping up with my favorite blogs, but I’ll be one of those lurkers who never makes their presence known. I’ll respond to any social media and blogging comments upon my return. Naturally I’ll miss you guys, but I know that you’ll all still be here when I get back.

If you miss me, you can always contact me the old-fashioned way…through email.

And, ahem—for those who still haven’t read my latest book NOLA FRAN EVIE, you know what to do. (Hint…buy it today on Amazon!)

I’ll be around until Sunday the 31st and would love to hear from you before I go dark. Thank you all for your gorgeous support.

Oh, here’s my hair…

Nola Fran Evie…The Bloopers

Over the years I’ve created several very, very low-budget online videos.

One such tradition is creating a happy dance every time I reach a followers milestone on this blog.

A few months ago I surpassed the 500 mark (woot!). I made this fancy finger dance video with the same red satin gloves worn on the cover of my first book, Beneath the Satin Gloves. The stage was a picture frame covered with a fluffy black bath towel and a lace shawl for dramatic effect.

That’s right, kiddos. I’m the Repurpose Queen.

This is the minute-long “masterpiece” you saw…

What you didn’t see…the hours of cussing that went into making that video.

Even me, a lifelong dancer, was forgetting my freaking finger choreography. Dammit!

Since I was kneeling on the floor—in my jammies, I might add—behind the frame, the chintzy stage kept collapsing. Shit!

And right when I had the perfect take, the gardeners struck up outside of my apartment with their ear-splitting background music. Dammit, shit, and some other ladylike words I won’t share.

Another tradition I slave away at are book trailers for every release. In these videos I give behind-the-scenes tidbits in the hopes that readers will connect with the inspiration of the story and take a chance on one of my books.

But I’m not talking to real humans, I’m talking face to face with my smartphone camera. Nope, it’s not easy.

I’ve been thinking about doing a bloopers reel for some time. But I always shied away from the idea for two reasons. Firstly, video editing, though I’ve learned to enjoy it, is quite time-consuming. Secondly, would anyone even think it’s funny?

Well, hell if I know! But this time I made the blooper reel anyway for NOLA FRAN EVIE.

Because nobody’s perfect, and I’m certainly not. So why not have a few laughs?

If you missed it, here’s the seemingly flawless book trailer…

And what really happened, the bloopers…