I don’t write about positivity and life enthusiasm on this blog, because I think I’m an expert. I have crap days, I carry a bouquet of insecurities, and I wonder if I my life has purpose.
And, I know I’m not alone.
Common answers I hear from my incredible guest bloggers when I first ask them to write for The Life Enthusiast Chronicles are…
- Who me?
- I’m not really a Life Enthusiast.
- Are you sure?
My answers are…
- Yes, you.
- Yes, you are.
- Yes, I am.
Hey, I get it.
We think a positive person looks, acts, and lives a certain way. We think that positivity is this unattainable thing reserved for a select few. A select few we’ve never actually seen in real life.
We are so hard on ourselves. Hell, when we hear that we are “good” rather than “bad”, we almost don’t know what to do.
I go through a range of absurd emotions—from blushing to stuttering, from crying to rushing away.
Back when I started this blog, I didn’t know what the hell I was going to write about. I just started writing.
What I did know was this one thing. I wanted to inspire without the bullshit.
I don’t like fluff and I don’t like dishonesty. I like what’s real—what makes us vulnerable and human. What makes us who we are.
Last weekend I saw this tree at the end of my hike.
Spotlighted by the sun, it was the one tree on this section of the hill that was blooming. It was leaning over, but another fallen tree was keeping it from crashing down.
Man, you guys, I just had a rough week.
Monday morning we had to rush Hazel the cat to the vet, because she got really sick, really quickly. She’s okay now, but things got pretty dicey.
The workweek was CRAZY busy, and the whole time I was still mentally recovering from the kitty scare.
Last night after that long week, I was so exhausted that I could barely keep my eyes open or make a joke. And, I joke around constantly.
First thing this morning, I decided to check and see if I received any reviews for Beneath the Satin Gloves since running it for free on Amazon recently.
It was a successful run, with nearly 700 downloads. I realize that the majority will never read it, but my one hope was to get more reviews.
Well, I got my first review from the promotion on Goodreads. It was one star, with no comment.
With few decent reviews out there, that just drove my sad little average right down.
You know something? I’m not bulletproof, and I never will be.
The bad review jarred me. And yes, I even had the old “Why in the hell do I keep writing?” thought permeating my mind.
Then, I thought about that tree, blossoming when nothing else around it was. So, I brushed off the shitty week and the shit review and decided not to fall.
Dammit, today I’m gonna bloom.