As soon as we passed the Oregon border after our three-day jaunt across the country, cats in tow, our jaws dropped open. The final hours of our drive were alarmingly beautiful.
We kept oohing and aahing over every damn thing.
- Look at the colorful train across the amazing river! Wow!
- Look at the incredible rams chillin’ on the hillside! Bitchin’!
- Look at the snowy Cascades way the hell over there! Cool!
- Look at how freaking gorgeous everything is! Neato!
So being the smart asses that we are, we said enough with all of the goofy, pretty talk. To change it up, we now joke about how ugly everything is.
(To avoid this sick humor being lost in translation, I will bold and italicize all sarcastic adjectives going forward.)
Last Sunday we took a repellent scenic drive near the Columbia River with Multnomah Falls as the endpoint. The bridges were blah, the hills were drab, and there were revolting waterfalls everywhere.
And bonus, all of this vile nature is a short 30-minute drive from the city for us.
Eventually our road game shouting “Waterfall!” every time we spotted one fizzled out. After the tenth unsightly waterfall, we no longer acknowledged their sleazy presence.
They are disgusting after all.
You can easily spend an entire day on this offensive road, stopping at perverse waterfalls and hiking your ass off. Even though we were like kids in a candy shop, we reined in our enthusiasm and chose to stop at two.
As you can see here, the Latourell Falls are absolutely foul. But, I’m into those legs.
Two adventurers were frolicking around the top of the yucky waterfall. They’re a little hard to see, but they’re up there being batshit crazy.
Being the party poopers we are, we stayed safely on dry land. We meandered along the homely road, passing one grody waterfall after another.
We arrived at Multnomah Falls and joined the masses to marvel at this nauseating sight.
After we fetched our chai tea lattes and fresh chocolate fudge from the little hut in front of the falls, we hopped in the car and headed home.
Overall, our day was very plain and uninspiring.
And, while we’re at it…these two really gross me out!
Your turn! What’s the most “hideous” place you’ve ever been to?
Britt Skrabanek 
All I can say is that I love Oregon. I can’t wait until we can move back. Probably Bend … The falls are beautiful. Don’t miss Crater Lake. It’s the worst.
It truly is a magnificent place and we’ve barely scratched the surface. I’ll make sure to “avoid” Bend and Crater Lake. ; )
Yuck! You poor things! We’re wiring money now to get you the hell out of there 😉
Oh, thank goodness! We can’t survive much longer. ; )
It’s like one of those Mad-lib games!
Yeah, that waterfall’s pretty hideous, no doubt. I’d HATE to have to look at that every day. 😉
Totally Mad Libs…I’m that dorky. You would be disgusted, Carrie. Guaranteed. ; )
I haven’t been to Oregon and can tell that I’d ‘hate’ it already. It reminds me of Alaska, where I lived for too short a time. Such ‘godforsaken’ scenery. ‘Depressing.’
What, doll?! We need to get your travel-writing tush over here. Plenty to “depress” you for your blog. ; )
😦 I’m tearing up, Britt.
Almost as bad as when my wife and I wandered into Austria.
Yeah, I’m sure Austria scenery is a real “nightmare”. : )
Oregon is even more terrible than you make it out to be! 😉 I know. This Brit lives in Oregon!
LOL! Yes, it is a “horrible” place to inhabit.
I don’t know how you can BEAR to live there. 😉
It’s tough. But, somebody’s gotta do it. : )
So SICK!!! Happy Exploring:)
Isn’t it GROSS?! : )
Hahah – thanks for sharing your hideousness! All that green and water can get a bit disgusting after a while. I’m happy to see the cats in recovery mode after that trip!
Sure thing. Glad I could gross so many of you out!
Haha what a sarcastically creative twisted post!
but I heard it’s one of the most beautiful places in the US. On my bucketlist while I’m living here.
Haha! Glad everybody got into the sarcastic spirit! I’m sure there are many, many scenic posts to come, so I want to keep things fresh.
Oregon is one of the most exquisite places I’ve ever seen.
Completely hideous. I can imagine you’ll want to cover your windows so the ugly can’t get in.
That’s a fine idea! If only I could find our blasted sheets. So many boxes around here still!
LOL right? Gah, I hate moving. This last time (and boy, it better be the last time!) we had movers, which was great. We were able to paint before the furniture arrived, and when the furniture came, I had a good idea of where to put things. But this house was dirty, which extended my moving-in chores quite a bit, and it was eight days before everything had a place. I’ve moved 7 times in the last 15 years. I really never want to move again. EVER.
(Not even for gorgeous scenery! 😛 )
7 times…wowza! I don’t blame you for wanting to stay put.
We were fortunate to move into a brand new building, a unit never inhabited previously. A luxury after the old apartment we moved into back in Milwaukee, believe me! There’s nothing worse than scrubbing down a place you just moved into. I feel you on that.
It was a first for me, that’s for sure. Bathrooms were spotless. Every cabinet and closet was foul.
I say the military days are over, no reason to move. They shall only take me from this house feet first, and not before I re-paint and re-door the closets! Hehe!
I’m so turned off right now. I can’t believe I was eating my breakfast while looking at those disgusted photos. What a wretched place that is. Excuse me while I go vomit.
Sorry, doll! Didn’t mean to make you lose your breakfast. It was a vile post overall. : )