Hey, Britt. What’s going on with you?
Eh, nothing. Ok, everything.
Emotional tug-of-war time again?
Why the struggle?
You ask a lot of questions, Shadow.
Hey, you haven’t spoken to me in a while. Got the feeling you wanted me to help you out.
No, you’re right. Sorry, sometimes you just get too close and it bothers me.
Britt, I’m your shadow.
Oh, right. Well, for a while now – the past four months or so – I’ve been trying to run away from myself. From you, too.
Ah geez, not that again. Britt, you know you can’t do that.
I know. But, sometimes it seems like being somewhere else – a new place, a new life – will be what I need. The happiness will be right there waiting for me.
That’s because you’re a gypsy. The gypsy yearns to roam because she fears that settling isn’t living. But there’s something pretty effing beautiful about rooting, Britt.
I’ve been thinking about that.
You’re you, dragging my shadowy ass behind you. No matter where you are, no matter what you do. We’re right there, through thick and thin.
That’s why I’ve decided to stay this time.
Really? No escapism for Britt Skrabanek?
Shadow, don’t be absurd. I’ll always have fiction.
Naturally. But otherwise, you’re gonna keep on keepin’ on?
I’m proud of you. Shocked as hell, but proud.
Thanks, Shadow. I’ve tried on a lot of different lives, traipsed across these United States searching for myself – for a place to fit in, for a place to call home.
Ha! You…fit in somewhere?
Delusional, I know.
Sounds like you don’t give a shit about that anymore.
I don’t. Because I’m kind of serene. Right here in this tiny city of Milwaukee, Wisconsin, U.S.A. I know where the potholes are in the streets, I have a favorite tree, and when the seasons change I feel alive.
You sure that’s grand enough for you, Britt?
Shadow, I’ve lived in grander cities before. Turns out, I’m not a grandiose kind of girl.
So, you’re cool right here?
Yes. Right here with my day job in my colorless cubicle. Right here teaching Yoga and seeing peace for the first time. Right here writing with all of my soul, exposing my vulnerability and being OK with that.
I’m happy for you, Britt. You’re home.
I like the way that sounds…I’m home.
Good, I was tired of chasing your crazy ass.
Damn, Shadow. Tell me how you really feel.
You know I don’t hold back with you.
You’re alright, Shadow. You’re alright.
So are you, Britt.
Thanks for listening.
Any time. I’m always here when you need me.
20 thoughts on “Me and My Shadow”
Ugh. So so so good. I’m glad we have a phone date this week ……….shall we conference your shadow in?
Thanks! And I spoke to Shadow this morning. She would like for us to conference her in. It’s gonna get weird.
Your conversations with your Shadow are similar to my conversations with my Mr. Nasty Pants, though instead of restlessness, he taunts me and fills me with self-doubt about my writing. He hasn’t visited for a while, but I suspect he’ll reappear soon now that I’m in the querying phase for my current WIP.
Glad you’re projecting peace to your Shadow. Life is so much smoother when we can find that.
Lol! Mr. Nasty Pants…that’s amazing.
I get plenty of self-doubt with writing as well, courtesy of Shadow’s restless habits. Should I really be a writer? Couldn’t I be doing something else with my teeny bit of spare time? Then, after pacing and pondering…and pacing and pondering some more…I park it and write my ass off.
Channeling the energy seems to be where it’s at in this whole life thing.
This is pretty awesome. I needed to read this – thank you. I never thought of talking to my shadow like this. I
Just yell at mine:) glad you are Home.
Thank you, Pamela. I usually ignore my shadow, but recently it was time for a one on one. : )
You sound so happy. It’s nice to have a place to call home, where you can dodge the potholes and take root. Wisconsin sounds like a good place to do that.
I am and absolutely. Home is where the heart is, though a cheesy saying, is pretty brill.
Nice way of expressing your inner feelings Britt, a shadow ain’t gonna judge you. I’ll try talking to mine on the way to work in a minute.
Thanks, Roy. Let us know how that shadow talk goes. Think we’d all love to hear that dialogue.
Here’s some shadow play from my guitar hero instead, turn your speakers up https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3S4XckG5LQ
LOL! That rocked.
Love this, Britt. Serenity is a wonderful place to call home. Potholes, favorite tree and all!
Totally! Just gonna keep on dodging those potholes and grinning at the trees. That works for me.
Shadow is supportive; my Eris is not. I need a Shadow. 🙂
Ah, yes…Eris. Shadow’s a bit of a know-it-all though. : )
You know what jumped out at me from the post. That as we hanker for change we have a choice. We can physically move and change our surroundings. Or we can stay put and allow time, tide and the seasons to usher in the change.
So which one would I choose? I need to figure out.
Loved the post.
Yes, Shakti. We do have a choice to change right where we are. Our minds are vast, offering plenty of opportunities to explore. Thanks for stopping by.
Great way of working through your doubts Britt, I’m happy you’ve found a place to feel at home.
Thanks, Andrea. Home is an awesome place to be. : )