Secret Single Behavior (SSB)

Today we celebrate Hermit Day. (Don’t worry, I didn’t have a damn clue there was such a thing either.)

But my friend Eli over at Coach Daddy, who is clearly cooler than I am for knowing about this random holiday, told me all about it. For the second time he invited me to participate in his monthly 6 Words challenge, a fun project where he asks friends and strangers to dish out a cute little sentence based on a prompt of his choosing.

Now we writers love, love, love to elaborate on a topic for hundreds, sometimes thousands of words—meaning six words is kinda cruel. But it’s also a fun challenge so of course I agreed to do it.

The prompt…October 29th is Hermit Day, how would you spend an ideal day all to yourself, in six words?

Over eighty of us played along this time…wowza! (Be sure to stop by Eli’s to check them all out.)

Obviously writing and reading is something I do most of the time when I’m in hermit mode. Those books don’t write themselves.

But Eli caught me at a time when I was feeling rather mysterious, during my blogging and social media hiatus in September. Naturally, I gave a coy response.

I’m hanging somewhere in the middle at #39 with the following…

Secret single behavior, I’ll never tell.

laughing in the diner

For those who aren’t diehard Sex and the City fans like I am, there’s a really fantastic episode where Carrie Bradshaw discusses Secret Single Behavior (SSB).

This is the thing you often do when you’re all alone. It’s top-secret because it’s probably so weird that you don’t even want your own spouse to know about it.

Well, Mr. H and I are going on almost a decade of marriage so we don’t keep secrets from one another. Although he knows about my SSB’s, I perform these odd habits as they are intended to be performed. Totally alone.

Eli thought my Hermit Day response about SSB was intriguing and figured that my readers would too.

So, embarrassing as it is, I’m going to reveal one of my SSB’s on one condition—each of YOU needs to reveal an SSB in the comment section below.

Obviously this blog is a public place and while I’m all for a healthy sexual appetite, let’s keep it clean, people. The more random, the better.

As promised, here is one of my typical SSB’s…

Dancer's Pose Natarajasana

Aphrodite the cat says: “Ah, crap. Hausfrau’s back.”

MEET HAUSFRAU

Some years ago Hausfrau was a brilliant term coined by Mr. H when he kept walking in on me at the end of my SSB ritual of cleaning the holy shit out of our apartment.

There’s dance music blasting, a bright bandana on my head, dusty stretchy pants, and a mad look in my eyes. The cats stay far, far away from me, usually in a dark corner of the closet praying I don’t vacuum their furry butts.

When I clean, I get down. I get totally focused on a cleaning project and I don’t stop until it’s done. I don’t answer the phone, in fact I don’t even think about the outside world.

If I’m stressed or anxious, sure I meditate, practice Yoga, or hit the trails. But sometimes you just have to clean the hell out of an inanimate object to feel on top of the world. It works like a champ every time.

For those of you who are still following this blog after my SSB reveal, I have one more thing to add. Earlier this year I completed one of the greatest accomplishments in Hausfrau history.

I organized and cleaned my bobby pin container.

Well, folks. I shared one of my SSB’s…your turn!

46 thoughts on “Secret Single Behavior (SSB)

  1. cravesadventure says:

    I wait until I know Mr. Craves is gone for a few hours and organize my closet. I mean organize! No sleeves to long sleeves to sweaters to jackets to dresses. From White to Black with every color in between lining up like a rainbow. I put the shoes and purses in containers. I could seriously scare the man if he knew what I did for a few hours while he was out of the house. He knows to not comment and compliment my organization skills too – ha! Oh the Secrets that could be Shared – Watch Out! Happy Day 🙂

  2. joeyfullystated says:

    I, too, read and write while hermit-ing, and am most happy doing so. I also do the crazy cleaning. Mine is likely baking. I don’t care to bake unless I have the house to myself. I will, but I don’t like to. I like to be in complete control of my environment when I bake.

    • Britt Skrabanek says:

      So glad to hear about the crazy cleaners out there! You know, I only bake when I’m alone too. Of course, I’m going for dramatic effect, making the whole house smell like fresh cookies when Mr. H walks in the door. Hello, wife of the year! 🙂

  3. Letizia says:

    I love organizing the fridge. It’s a beautiful ritual (music on, like when you clean). I take each item out (while discussing history of said item with my watchful dog… I am revealing too much here…. crazy fridge woman being revealed…) then clean each shelf carefully, then return each item (labels facing forward, of course, items grouped by logical placement…. cornichons must go with the French mustard, of course…). My man appreciates the cleanliness but thinks the organization is slightly mad 🙂

    • Britt Skrabanek says:

      Dude, I love this crazy fridge woman reveal! I must admit that organizing the fridge is not my forte. I clean it quickly and get the hell out of there. I applaud your fridge madness. Your pooch must be very knowledgable in condiment pairings. 🙂

  4. Carrie Rubin says:

    Hmm, I suppose my SSB is docking my iPhone and dancing around to my playlist while I get ready or cook dinner. Considering my lack of dancing skills, that’s an activity best performed alone. I’m sure my teen sons would agree…

  5. Gallivanta says:

    Oh goodness, all these secret organizers and cleaners! Letizia, my fridge needs you. Cravesadventure my closet is calling. Britt, the dust awaits you in my living room. What is my SSB? It’s probably my blog…this is my time, though it’s not particularly secret. 🙂

  6. Roy McCarthy says:

    Hmm, wandering around with little or nothing on assuming that those on the beach below aren’t a bit interested in the apartments 🙂 But the laptop is the centre of attention always. Even if I’m not writing or reading then it will be tuned to news, sports commentaries or a rock album. There’s an Irish discussion forum (boards.ie) that is hugely popular and which I’ve never seen properly replicated elsewhere. Even since returning to Jersey in late 2009 I regularly keep up with, and contribute to the Athletics/Running sub-forum, and also the Dublin, Cork and Waterford regional forums. Sad or what?

    • Britt Skrabanek says:

      Haha! I’m sure most of us run around scantily clad…heck, why not?!

      I don’t think any of that’s sad. Our laptops are a much cuter and intelligent television that we can command. Great for SSB time. 🙂

  7. Jilanne Hoffmann says:

    Um, when my husband and son are gone, I—clean the bathroom. I take down the shower curtain liner and soak it in a solution of yes, I use it, bleach. I scrub the tub, walls, fixtures, floor—especially the floor around the toilet. I remove the toilet seat and soak it in a bleach solution, too. I spray oregano oil-based cleanser everywhere. Scrub the mirror, sink (removing all those pesky whisker clippings that refuse to disappear down the drain), cabinet, etc…..

    You get the idea. And when I’m done, I pretend I’m a single woman with a bathroom that doesn’t have to withstand the daily assault from the male species. Then I can read in peace.

    • Britt Skrabanek says:

      Haha! Love the sheepish bathroom response. You know, I’m all into organic products, but I swear nothing beats bleach when needed. Those dang whisker clippings! They end up in every nook and cranny.

  8. diannegray says:

    That is a fantastic photo of you, Britt! 😀

    I’ll either meditate when I’m alone or write (boring, I know). If I’m feeling like a bit of a giggle I’ll watch the People’s Court 😀

  9. cricketmuse says:

    My mother is German. I grew up with cleaning as a requisite to happiness. I also wait until the hubs is away to thoroughly clean. I even scour out the yucky gunk on the faucet taps. Do we really live in a culture that induces guilt if we prefer clean over comfortably cruddy?

    • Britt Skrabanek says:

      Cleaning is absolutely a requisite to happiness. I credit my love for cleaning to my bit of German ancestry. I’m not sure about the guilt thing, but it is interesting how so many of us prefer to clean when we’re alone. For me, I really get in the zone so I completely ignore my husband if he is in the house. 🙂

  10. vsvevg says:

    This is a tough one because I spend so much time alone and I do a lot of weird things…but, one thing I really love to do when I’m alone is go out to the huge tree I live under and give it a big hug and kiss, and have some quality time together. Felipe and I sit with it together too, but it’ not the same as my alone time with the tree.

  11. Andrea Stephenson says:

    I like to put on an old black and white movie and have a good sob or a good laugh depending on how I’m feeling. My favourites for this purpose – The Ghost and Mrs Muir or Margaret Rutherford as Miss Marple 🙂

  12. Kate Johnston says:

    I sing and dance. I pick music I can really belt out, and just go crazy. I have been known to clean and obsessively organize too — but I don’t necessarily do that only when I’m alone. 🙂

  13. Karin Van den Bergh says:

    Really people..cleaning on hermit day!?? haha
    Although I can be quite an obsessive organizer, never on a ‘ sacred me time’

    My so called SSB (not really a secret though) changes depending on my mood. Usually, the things I love to do when alone have nothing to do with secrecy (reading, writing, meditating, chanting and playing my bowls) but maybe yoga is something I prefer to practice behind closed doors. I’m not very flexible so yes, being found in kind of a deranged pretzel is somewhat embarrassing 😉 Funny, I have not so much a problem in class.

    And oh yes, playing ‘golden oldies’ or watching old black&white movies (like Andrea 🙂 )
    Gives hubby the creeps..lol

  14. Minuscule Moments says:

    Love it Britt, sometimes if I am stretched for time because I am sketching and not cleaning, I race around in the last half hour like a maniac before hubs gets home. Spotless house, dinner on the table and a happy hubby. Also a cardiac workout lol.

    • Britt Skrabanek says:

      Oh, that happens to me too! With the little free time I have, I squeeze in the creativity and cleaning whenever I can. But there are some days where I totally focus on cleaning and let my brain rest. And yes, cleaning is a fantastic workout!

  15. jessmittens says:

    Mine is the exact same!
    I start a cleaning project and there is no chance of me checking my phone and every chance that I’m also shaking my butt to some kind of music. It just makes you feel so.. productive and calm.

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