High Fashion, Suburban Swingers, Narcotics Detectives, and Gypsies

Haha…made you look! You’re probably thinking…what is that crazy Britt up to now?

But this fun bouquet of words is actually from a reader, a snippet from an outstanding review my little book, Everything’s Not Bigger, received last night.

If you’re interested in the randomness this title exudes, then you’ll probably want to scoop up a copy of Everything’s Not Bigger while it’s $1 off on Smashwords (ends February 28th.)

Also, my first book Beneath the Satin Gloves is a buck off as well. It’s kooky in a different way. Think WWII, spying lounge singer, sex and lies, and a little time travel element to keep you scratching your head.

And for you Valentine’s Day enthusiasts out there, I promise there are some mega romantic moments in each story that will make your heart go pitter-patter.

I’m totally interested in a buck off your books, Britt!

photo-16

Well, cheers to that and click here for all the deets…

Here’s the full review from Amazon…

ENB_sidebar_cover“What do Dallas high fashion retail salespeople, basset hounds, suburban swingers, Czech cuisine, narcotics detectives, Romani (Gypsies), gay trust fund debauchees, and witness protection all have in common? Answer: Jaye Davis.



So move over Sophie Kinsella and Tom Robbins and make room for one of the most thoroughly modern female protagonists ever created. And, as a delightful bonus, find that all of Britt Skrabanek’s other characters in this novel are not bigger than life; they each ring true with the feel of a fact-is-stranger-than-fiction cast of players. No, these are not your typical quirky oddballs populating the television sitcoms but characters whose lives intersect so effortlessly with Jaye Davis. I ask myself whether Everything’s Not Bigger is a roman à clef or most definitely the very imaginative product of a keen observer of human nature. This novel is suspenseful, romantic, peppered with history, and salted with satirical social commentary.



As with Britt Skrabanek’s first novel, Beneath The Satin Gloves, this offering is sprinkled with clever and tender comic relief. Two particular scenes, one involving a grumpy Czech grandmother (not Jaye’s), and the other depicting her platonic non-date stroll over a landmark Prague bridge, are sure to entertain. However, don’t be misled; this is a serious story about conflicting contemporary values. How do we overcome bad decisions, and do we have the determination to shape the life we really want to live.

Name my characters, why don’t ya?

Geez Louise! I never thought I’d write one book and here I am starting my third. I’m either destined to be a novelist or you’re all destined to hear the rantings of a crazy lady.

Anywho, I’m in the outlining stage, also known as the honeymoon phase for us writers, and I can use your help out there. I want you guys to name two of my characters!

Fun, yeah?

Here’s a brief background for you to ponder before choosing the names from the polls below.

Baseball TicketsI had this crazy discovery last summer when I bought a vintage handbag here in Milwaukee and I found some artifacts from 1954 – two baseball tickets, and a shopping list on the back of a voting receipt.

Sixty years ago, people! How cool is that?!

I wrote a post about it, because I was so freaking excited! This was back when I first started blogging and nobody knew who the hell I was, so you can check out The Clues in the Vintage Handbag if you want.

I daydreamed about who the owner of the handbag might have been, and pictured three different women. So, my brother-in-law pointed out that it looked like I had the skeleton of a decent story on my hands, and he was right. (Thanks, Shawn!)

And, here we are.

My working title is The Bra Game. The story will bounce back and forth between the woman who discovers the handbag and clues in somewhat modern day to the three women she imagines as the possible owners back in 1954. The three women were previously connected as baseball players in the All American Girls Baseball League at the tail end of World War II.

Since I adore strong female characters, these unconventional athletes are right up my alley. We know that when the men came home, the women were expected to ditch their wartime duties, and make lots of babies and pies.

But, what about the women who were different?

So, there’s your teaser.

This is a completely different project for me as it will be a departure from my previous thrillers, and more of an exploration of social issues. Rather than an international locale, this is all about Chicago in the fifties…an all-American romp, if you will.

And, instead of one main character, I have three! I’ve got one named because her name hit me like a ton of bricks, and so it must be.

But, I still have two more to name…and here’s where you come in.

1950s woman with ray bans

CHARACTER #1

In a Nutshell: Feisty Italian-American Tomboy
Classic Movie Star Twin: Audrey Hepburn
Baseball Position: Catcher, Bunter-Stealer
Occupation: Photographer

CHARACTER #2

In a Nutshell: Busty Polish-American Sex Kitten
Classic Movie Star Twin: Marilyn Monroe
Baseball Position: Left Fielder, Left-handed Batter
Occupation: Housewife/Socialite

It would be awesome if you guys would spread the word on this poll of mine…the more, the merrier! The name reveal will take place on February 28th.

ENB_sidebar_coverbtsg sidebar cover

And if you don’t know anything about my previous work, now is the time to check them out. I’m currently offering a whole buck off the entire month of February.

All the details are right here.

So, I’m having this book sale…

weighing books

I know, I know. We all have about a grillion choices when it comes to books. There are so many stories out there, and I have written two teeny tiny ones.

I’m not conventional, I’m not mainstream, I’m not famous.

I’m just me. Little indie author…me.

But, here’s the thing – I’ve got coupons! And, who in the hell doesn’t like coupons?

The entire month of February you can get both of my books at a $1 off their usual prices. Think about all the things you can do with that buck you’re saving.

You can – oh wait, nevermind. Even gum costs more than that nowadays!

Oh, well! A buck’s a buck.

Head on over to Smashwords and use the nifty coupon codes below. Before you scratch your head about what the blazes Smashwords is, just know that it’s a swell place for us indie authors to sell our unknown books via any e-book format in existence.

Instructions are right here so you know what to do after you download the format you need. With my Kindle Fire, I just email the mobi file to my Kindle email address and voila…easy squeezy!

Here’s my offbeat WWII spy thriller…

btsg sidebar cover

Click the book to see what it’s all about.

Click here to buy on Smashwords

(just copy and paste coupon code VY57T at check-out)

Here’s my feel-good, modern day thriller…

ENB_sidebar_cover

Click the book to see what it’s all about.

Click here to buy on Smashwords

(just copy and paste coupon code NS94W at check-out)

If you feel so inclined to be even more gorgeous than you already are for giving my books a whirl, it would be beyond awesome if you would take a few moments to leave a review after you have finished. Seriously, it would warm my heart.

THANK YOU kindly for supporting the indie author movement.

Style vs. Materialism

There’s style…

I believe in style, the ability to express through one’s outer layer, portraying a mood, character, or even another time.

It was somewhat of an accident when I stumbled into a five year stint selling designer jewelry at a luxury retail store. It was a college job which continued well after graduating. My professors teased me in school, wondering why the student writing prolific papers on human rights and conflict management was bejeweling the Dallas elite.

Raised by a single father, there was little money for shopping and little emphasis on a feminine appearance. My dad tried fixing up my hair when I was younger—it was a constant disaster.

I had this incredible urge to outwardly convey creativity and rummaged through thrift stores for sport. Unlike the head to toe chain store ensembles adorning most of the other kids my age, I looked unique. Despite being made fun of, I felt good about myself.

Then, there’s materialism…

Working in sales at a high-end store was a vast departure from the bargain bins and musty vintage I preferred. I made good money, but I never fit in.

When I got engaged everyone wanted to drool over an ostentatious diamond ring. I’ll never forget their shocked faces. My hemp engagement ring was unanimously lost on my coworkers and clients.

As you can imagine, half a decade in this posh environment loaded my brain with ammo. I was armed to the teeth with outlandish stories of the rich and famous, those keeping up with the Joneses, and of course, the employees who fell somewhere in between.

My next book, Everything’s Not Bigger, will release on November 10. The premise explores the choice between excessiveness and simplicity.

There’s a well known slogan in Texas…Everything’s Bigger in Texas. You’ll find it on t-shirts, bumper stickers, and shot glasses. The meaning is subject to interpretation, geographically referring to its size and often humorously referring to anatomy.

But, I see “bigger” on a deeper level.

What is bigger–an expensive car, an oversized house, an endless walk-in closet–is not better, leading to emptiness, a life of dissatisfaction. What is not bigger, that which bears no price tag in life, is priceless.

An excerpt from Everything’s Not Bigger…

The female customer species consisted of the same story told in various ways with the same predictable ending. These customers were either married or divorced, socialites or stay-at-home moms, surgically enhanced or scheduled to be.

Their husbands were prosperous business men spearheading the oil industry. They flew from one corner of the world to the other, cheating with any woman that came along, and there were many. Money was used to attract and pay, either with the works—a covert life with a limitless charge card and a sleek apartment—or just plain prostitution.

The wives took on boy toys in their lonely existence. Mainly they found solace in a guaranteed place—Lyman’s. They could walk in at any moment and feel good about themselves. Divorces were born out of these unhappy marriages; handsome settlements kept the ex-wife happy in her accustomed riches, and cleverly away from the royal fund. Marriages also continued in this manner, sustaining the perfect life manifestation.

Some of these women could legitimately afford to shop at Lyman’s, and bought everything with abyssal bank accounts. Most couldn’t maintain and maxed out their cards to saunter out with the stuff, only to wear and return it all immediately.

There was a harsh reality about the treasures at Lyman’s. The large-scale return regime of the wannabees and the moody elite turned this seemingly posh environment into what it truly was—a secondhand store and a pretty sham.

Shoes, jewelry, even the lingerie swam in a vicious cycle from one store to the next, one body to the next. Used then repaired, the illusion was complete with a freshly printed tag, small and neat, covered in a big, dirty price.

Working on straight commission, sales people scooped up valuable customers and ran away from the dreaded returners. They couldn’t ferret out every chronic returner. Newbie employees with unrefined returner radars particularly got stuck with them. They wasted hours coddling their customer’s egos only to have the bags emptied on the counter the next day, frequently the next hour.

Strangely enough, the employees ran parallel lives to the customers, both spending most of their lives and incomes in one marvelous place. Lyman’s credit cards were not encouraged, they were mandatory, adding more fashion slaves who couldn’t look rich and tried anyway.

A corresponding group of employees, gloating with plastic faces and disposable incomes, voluntarily chose to work there. Having found no other place they would rather be, this species preferred the company of resplendent merchandise and the elegant clientele, who were often their personal friends.

Lyman’s employees sparkled on the outside, exuding confidence when they had not a drop. Teetering in a state of materialistic psychosis, they never whistled while they worked. Day in and day out, a seductive hum circled through the air—sell, sell, then sell some more!

After a grueling stint in traffic, Jaye punched the grimy keys of the outdated computer in the back hallway. She was ten minutes late, and the all store meeting was about to begin.

Which Lyman’s category did Jaye Davis fall under? None of the above.

Come on, babe. Why don’t we paint the town?

And, all that jazz.

I’m not a musical theater buff in any shape or form. Harboring cheesy dance moves and peppy tunes that get eternally stuck in my head, I usually steer clear. However, there are exceptions.

I appreciate the dark and gritty, R-rated types…specifically Chicago, my all-time favorite. Give me glamorous femmes fatales and the unmatched genius of Bob Fosse any day.

Somehow I missed the boat, and have never danced to “All That Jazz”. Now you might be thinking…big whoop! But, it’s kind of against nature for a jazz dancer.

See, I was too curvy for tutus, too skeptical for interpretive dance—you know the kind where you’re supposed to actually be the tree—and too demure to crunk.

Jazz dancing has always been the right fit for me, a chance to sass and captivate. I could pretend to be back in the 1920s, a spunky cabaret dancer teasing the crowd and having a ball.

Recently, opportunity came knocking on my door.

Last Friday, RunUp 2012: The Roaring Twenties, a 1920s themed fashion show, gala, and costume party benefitting Froedtert and The Medical College of Wisconsin Cancer Unit, commenced at the Historic Pritzlaff Building here in Milwaukee.

Guess who finally got to perform “All That Jazz”?

A good friend of mine, Hannah (the striking blonde who looks like Roxy Hart’s twin) was choreographing, and offered up the gig to a select few—the Jazz hands experts. The four of us would serve as back-up dancers to Bjorn Nasett, a legendary entertainer making a comeback.

Last year I hung up my performance shoes. Enthusiastically, I took them down, tossed some fishnets on, and got my shimmying self back on the stage.

And, it was grand.

Photo by Abe Van Dyke | http://www.thevandykecollection.com
Photo by Abe Van Dyke | http://www.thevandykecollection.com
Photo by Abe Van Dyke | http://www.thevandykecollection.com

Sometimes I teeter on dualistic, an all or nothing kind of gal. This unexpected return to the spotlight taught me to rethink my stubborn ways, to be open to the right kind of opportunities.

Of all the times I’ve performed, I’ve only been paid once. Some years ago an envelope bulging with cash was hastily thrust into my hands before a ballet class, and it was weird.

Dancers don’t do it for money. The ones who do get paid earn peanuts.

As much effort as it takes, dancing for joy and pleasure has always made sense to me. It’s a special art I’ve known intimately all my life. It’s an honor to take people away, to make them smile, to encourage them to let go and have fun.

What happens on the stage is beneficial to everyone—the performers, the spectators, the choreographers and directors. To escape the grind for the sake of feeling good is a necessary perk of life.

In the words of Billy Flynn: “This trial…the whole world…it’s all…show business.”

If I can get my hands on some video footage of our performance, I will most certainly post. Until then, here’s a fun poll…I’ll reveal the correct answer at the end of next week.