The Accidental Spirit Quest

 

Wyoming
Wyoming

It was 3am and my eyes flew wide open. The silence echoed vivaciously through my empty apartment. I extended my toes over to the right, touched my husband’s warm ankle and found the brief comfort I craved.

The additional two hours of sleep I so badly needed for our journey that day were unreachable, so I surrendered to my restlessness.

Ungracefully I slid off the air mattress, tiptoed across the creaking floors, and turned on our crappy little coffeemaker. The cats rubbed my legs with uncertainty, and though I did my best to soothe them, they were not fooled by my rickety affection.

For the last time I drank a cup of coffee by my favorite window with the beautiful tree, one that I had seen touched by all four seasons for a handful of years. I sat in that bright orange camping chair and scanned the barren room, my eyes full of wonder and trepidation.

So much life had happened there. We laughed, we cried, we loved, we feared.

This place where we had lived for five years had become a ghost, its white walls exuding melancholy, scarred by the furniture that once rested against them.

After Mr. H took the two panic-stricken cats down to the truck, I had to be brave and say goodbye to our teeny home. I turned off the light in the living room, the kitchen, the bathroom, the bedroom and finally, the hallway. I locked the door and took one last look at the faded bronze apartment number.

I slipped the envelope with our keys into the manager’s mail slot and walked out the back door…forever.

uhaul iowa

Then, it hit me. We were homeless.

Mr. H, Aphrodite and Hazel, Ken Follett the cow, and I were about to drive for 32 freaking hours hauling a trailer. Everything we cherished was being thrust into the unknown, into the elements for three epic days.

And, it wasn’t exactly a piece of cake.

We had memorable weather on that first never-ending day. Snow and rain turned into endless grey skies and fierce 40 mph wind gusts. Golden flat fields lined the highway offering an eternity of boredom.

Nebraska
Nebraska

How we wished for that boredom once we arrived in the Nebraska Panhandle. We had three more hours to go, drawing close to midnight, and we took one more pit stop at a gas station.

It was pitch black and we were exhausted. But, this wasn’t the place to spend the night.

Above the gas station entrance, there was a sign: YOU ARE NOWHERE.

A man with long, filthy fingernails took my cash for my grape Gatorade, then called one of his goons on his crusty cell phone. I stood there, debating over whether or not my 87 cents was really worth it.

He was on something. Scratch that…a lot of things.

Eventually I got my change and we hightailed it out of there.

Soon after the tweaker gas station in Nowhere, Mr. H narrowly avoided a family of deer. Now I truly understand where that “deer in the headlights” expression comes from. I made direct eye contact with the mother as we missed her by a hair.

Though shaky we trucked on, visions of the hotel bed in Wyoming dancing through our fatigued minds, encouraging us to man up and continue.

Then, of course, the blizzard came. It was the worst snow you can imagine, the kind that blows right towards you and creates a psychedelic tunnel.

We were alone on a swerving road on some sort of wintry acid trip, our little home clutched in the hands of Nowhere. Sleeping on the side of the road wasn’t an option. Even in the darkness a generous drop-off was visible.

Those last hours, listening to the squeaking windshield wipers in the front and the grueling cat chorus in the back, were slow torture.

Every mile marker that came up lifted our spirits, little by little. And finally, we made it to the damn hotel in Wyoming.

Thankfully, the next two days were not as dramatic. We had sunshine and awe-inspiring nature to console us the rest of the way.

Oregon
Oregon

Naturally, the cats never settled into our movable home.

Aphrodite managed to cut her pink nose, because she kept pressing her face against the door of the carrier while crying out in deafening protest. Even outside of the truck I heard their incessant meows and wondered if I had completely lost it.

When we made it to Oregon, her lush green landscapes looked nothing short of heaven to us. And, I took a necessary moment to laugh at myself.

I had repeated one of those classic human mistakes. I was so focused on the move, the before and after, that I forgot about the middle.

As a writer, I should seriously slap myself around for this.

Though the first and last chapters are important to every story, the pages in between are crucial. That is where the reader is fully immersed, enraptured by the thoughts, feelings, and happenings of the fabricated world.

The idea that life is a journey and not a destination has been spouted off by many people, from Henry David Thoreau to Aerosmith.

When they thought up that brilliance, I bet they were hauling all of their shit across the country with pets.

Oregon
Oregon

 

 

 

GUEST POST: Britt Skrabanek – Life Enthusiasm and Writing…Heck, Yes!

Hey, sweet friends! Check out my guest piece over at Chris Stocking’s place, covering how being a life enthusiast has influenced my writing. Chris will be my March Life Enthusiast guy, so stay tuned next week to hear what makes him stoked about life. Hope you’re all having a gorgeous week!

laughter

Chris's avatarChristopher Stocking

It was pretty funny when Chris and I were first talking about me coming over to write a guest blog, because we were trying to pinpoint a topic together.

I didn’t have anything to pitch and he was open to anything. It’s not that we’re the wishy-washy types, we’re just excited to write about so many things.

The world is a vast playground and choosing something inspiring can be difficult for people like us who are easily romanced by our surroundings.

I started this monthly series last November called “The Life Enthusiast Chronicles” where incredible humans from all corners of the globe talk about what makes them feel alive.

I’m excited to have Chris as my guest in March, because his spirit and energy exude Life Enthusiast.

Luckily, he reeled my crazy enthusiastic self in when he said: “Maybe you can discuss how being a life enthusiast has…

View original post 310 more words

Sitting Across From You

two chairs

Sitting across from you last night healed me like nothing else.

I know that’s what we normally do on Friday nights. We listen to music, talk for hours, and laugh until it hurts. We drink and dance and live, because it’s the weekend.

But, last night was even more perfect than usual.

One week I found out about my mom. The next week I flew on a plane, far away from you to be closer to her. Last week I came back to work in a daze and handled each chaotic day as best as I could.

The last few weeks have been hard. Harder because I haven’t seen you the way I’m used to.

Yesterday when you got home I said that all I wanted to do was sit across from you. To look at you. To come back home to you.

And, so I did (along with this lap cat of ours).

lap cat

Damn, it was all so lovely.

The way your smile touches my insides. The way your voice soothes my mind. The way your thoughts speak to mine.

Sitting across from you was all that I needed. Thank you.

 

Intention to love in the new year

snow kisses

Here we are again. That time when we reflect on all that has happened and wonder what comes next.

For many of us, myself included, the coming of the new year carries some anxiety along with it. Did I live 2013 to its fullest? Will life be less awesome, as awesome, or more awesome in 2014?

The thing is, as long as we love we are living life to its fullest and life will be awesome. The rest of it – goals, money, things – they are radically insignificant.

Have dreams and do your best to soar, but don’t forget what’s right here on the ground. The family you don’t get to see enough, the spouse you are lucky to wake up next to, the friends you can share a ridiculous laugh or a magnificent cry with.

In 2014, I have a few bullet points I’d like to hit.

  • Publish my third book.
  • Get another stamp on my passport.
  • Continue a healthy life, including more meditation and Yoga.
  • Keep my closet clean.
  • Stop trying to do everything at once.

None of these are my resolutions. They are simply things I will work on throughout the year. Some will come easily, some will take a lot of work, and nobody will offer me a big, chintzy award for doing any of them.

Rather than a smattering of resolutions this year, I’d like to make a sankalpa instead.

A whaty-what?

Sankalpa is a Sanskrit word meaning “will, purpose, or determination”. While resolutions often channel a reprimanding energy toward ourselves – drink less, exercise more, (you get my drift) – a sankalpa is a positive intention.

When I look at my bullet points up there, I see that they are not particularly self-loathing, but I know I’ve made some tough love resolutions in the past. And, I’m sure many of you out there are struggling with the same right now.

So, I say…to hell with the tough love!

Let’s set a sankalpa together to love more. Your family, your spouse, your friends, and don’t forget yourself while you’re at it.

If we love more the rest of it becomes a little easier, the unattainable becomes attainable.

I always wonder what the world would be like if we all had the same intention, to focus more on love. I don’t know. It could be very awesome.

I would like to ask all of you to join me in this sankalpa to bring in the new year.

Chime in with some love in the comment section below. It can be anything you want, in any language you want: a famous quote, your unfamous quote, a list of people you love, a way that you can show your love more.

Thank you all for your beautiful support in 2013. You’re all lovely. Happy New Year.

2nd Draft…BAM!

second draftIt all began in August, the dreaded second draft.

The first time you read the work you poured your heart and soul into can be a frightening thing. A damn frightening thing.

Is it shit? I mean, is it complete and total shit?

Well, it might be to other people but I dig it. And at the end of the day, amidst subjective opinions on all things artistic, if I dig it, then that’s really all that matters.

This second draft and I are war buddies.

Over the past four months we stuck it out together, on Sundays for a chunk of time and usually on Wednesday nights when I was ready to keel over from day job and Yoga teaching repercussions.

I worked over a couple of paragraphs, folded some laundry, then parked it back in my chair and continued. My dinner got cold on the table just so I could sneak a page in. Headphones blocked out everything from Sunday football to my guitarist wannabee apartment manager on the first floor (we live two floors above him, we often want to chop our ears off and be done with it), so I could manage an entire chapter.

Last weekend I trudged through the final pages and finished. Bam!

If it hadn’t been so arctic outside, I probably would’ve screamed out my window: “Second draft, you were my Everest. And, I conquered your ass!”

But, I refrained. And my neighbors shall continue loathing our noisy manager rather than yours truly, the dorky writer with too much enthusiasm.

I had to share the excitement with all of you guys though.

There’s still a long road ahead, including the next stage which I call “The Serial Killer Phase”. Nope, I don’t write about serial killers. However when it’s time to reference the serial killer notes sitting on my bedside table, that’s the phase I’m talking about.

Writers, you know the notes. Random thoughts and dialogue, groovy sentences from authors who know a thing or two, and of course, the crazed scribbling that happens in the middle of the night or first thing in the morning.

Obsession with a splash of insomnia. Hence, serial killer notes…

writer notes

Lastly, there will be more editing, reading, editing, reading…until I can’t stand looking at it anymore. That’s where my in-law editors come in for moral support, right before I chuck the dissected, stitched, scarred draft promptly in the garbage.

Long story short, my vague release date for The Bra Game is set for late Spring 2014. So, yay for that!