We Surpass the Tough

downtown dallas

Life threw me a curveball a little over a week ago, so I bought a last-minute ticket and flew on a crowded plane to be where I needed to be.

I went to a land of dust, where everything looked stranger than I remember. I lived there five years ago, and not much has changed.

Yet, it all seemed drastically different. Because I have changed.

The concrete soaring throughout downtown Dallas was foreign to my eyes. The sky was reflected in the mirrored facades, decorating each building with spongy clouds.

downtown dallas

Peculiar enhancements of the city confused me even more.

Bigger and better restaurants had popped up in a land where food reigns supreme. My skinny jeans already felt tighter just being there again.

Eating out is predominately what you do in Dallas, unless you’re into shopping. Then, you can lose your paycheck on any other number of lavish designer offerings.

Forever destined to battle brown in the harsh climate, additional green spaces are now perched here and there, sprinkled with questionable forms of art.

Like this…

downtown dallas eyeball

When I first landed the city was foggy and grey. Stark buildings were still visible, jutting out into the horizon like perky breasts.

Everything seemed hazy to me. The spontaneity of it all, fueled by an emotional impulse to be with my mom when she received her test results.

Emotional time is an understatement.

This was our second round with breast cancer, but the familiarity of the process wasn’t comforting. Recognizing the tough times lurking in the shadows, ready to charge our lives once more, seemed so scary and unfair.

Five of us showed up at the doctor’s office with my mom and surprised the nursing staff with our sizable support group. We jokingly called ourselves her posse.

Hey, whatever it takes.

hugging

Being back here again at this point in my life is different than the time before, almost twelve years ago when I was a lost and confused college kid.

This time I thought…show her how much you love her, do everything you possibly can to give her strength. So, I wrote a tribute to her last week and I showed up on her doorstep.

That was all I could do. So I gave it my all.

There was an exquisite outpouring of kindness from many of you readers out there. Thank you.

Several of you are part of my blogging family and it seems like we go through a lot together in this thing called life. Many of you have been through similar experiences, and either supported a loved one or even lost one.

And though this is a personal time for me, I felt compelled to not only write a piece for my mom, but to share the results with you all as well.

We received the best news we possibly could have. She has Stage 1A.

There is still a long road to travel, but my mom is beautifully brave. For the time being the haze has lifted and those blue skies are a welcoming sight.

My mom will totally kick cancer’s ass once again. I just know it.

sis, mom, and me

Style vs. Materialism

There’s style…

I believe in style, the ability to express through one’s outer layer, portraying a mood, character, or even another time.

It was somewhat of an accident when I stumbled into a five year stint selling designer jewelry at a luxury retail store. It was a college job which continued well after graduating. My professors teased me in school, wondering why the student writing prolific papers on human rights and conflict management was bejeweling the Dallas elite.

Raised by a single father, there was little money for shopping and little emphasis on a feminine appearance. My dad tried fixing up my hair when I was younger—it was a constant disaster.

I had this incredible urge to outwardly convey creativity and rummaged through thrift stores for sport. Unlike the head to toe chain store ensembles adorning most of the other kids my age, I looked unique. Despite being made fun of, I felt good about myself.

Then, there’s materialism…

Working in sales at a high-end store was a vast departure from the bargain bins and musty vintage I preferred. I made good money, but I never fit in.

When I got engaged everyone wanted to drool over an ostentatious diamond ring. I’ll never forget their shocked faces. My hemp engagement ring was unanimously lost on my coworkers and clients.

As you can imagine, half a decade in this posh environment loaded my brain with ammo. I was armed to the teeth with outlandish stories of the rich and famous, those keeping up with the Joneses, and of course, the employees who fell somewhere in between.

My next book, Everything’s Not Bigger, will release on November 10. The premise explores the choice between excessiveness and simplicity.

There’s a well known slogan in Texas…Everything’s Bigger in Texas. You’ll find it on t-shirts, bumper stickers, and shot glasses. The meaning is subject to interpretation, geographically referring to its size and often humorously referring to anatomy.

But, I see “bigger” on a deeper level.

What is bigger–an expensive car, an oversized house, an endless walk-in closet–is not better, leading to emptiness, a life of dissatisfaction. What is not bigger, that which bears no price tag in life, is priceless.

An excerpt from Everything’s Not Bigger…

The female customer species consisted of the same story told in various ways with the same predictable ending. These customers were either married or divorced, socialites or stay-at-home moms, surgically enhanced or scheduled to be.

Their husbands were prosperous business men spearheading the oil industry. They flew from one corner of the world to the other, cheating with any woman that came along, and there were many. Money was used to attract and pay, either with the works—a covert life with a limitless charge card and a sleek apartment—or just plain prostitution.

The wives took on boy toys in their lonely existence. Mainly they found solace in a guaranteed place—Lyman’s. They could walk in at any moment and feel good about themselves. Divorces were born out of these unhappy marriages; handsome settlements kept the ex-wife happy in her accustomed riches, and cleverly away from the royal fund. Marriages also continued in this manner, sustaining the perfect life manifestation.

Some of these women could legitimately afford to shop at Lyman’s, and bought everything with abyssal bank accounts. Most couldn’t maintain and maxed out their cards to saunter out with the stuff, only to wear and return it all immediately.

There was a harsh reality about the treasures at Lyman’s. The large-scale return regime of the wannabees and the moody elite turned this seemingly posh environment into what it truly was—a secondhand store and a pretty sham.

Shoes, jewelry, even the lingerie swam in a vicious cycle from one store to the next, one body to the next. Used then repaired, the illusion was complete with a freshly printed tag, small and neat, covered in a big, dirty price.

Working on straight commission, sales people scooped up valuable customers and ran away from the dreaded returners. They couldn’t ferret out every chronic returner. Newbie employees with unrefined returner radars particularly got stuck with them. They wasted hours coddling their customer’s egos only to have the bags emptied on the counter the next day, frequently the next hour.

Strangely enough, the employees ran parallel lives to the customers, both spending most of their lives and incomes in one marvelous place. Lyman’s credit cards were not encouraged, they were mandatory, adding more fashion slaves who couldn’t look rich and tried anyway.

A corresponding group of employees, gloating with plastic faces and disposable incomes, voluntarily chose to work there. Having found no other place they would rather be, this species preferred the company of resplendent merchandise and the elegant clientele, who were often their personal friends.

Lyman’s employees sparkled on the outside, exuding confidence when they had not a drop. Teetering in a state of materialistic psychosis, they never whistled while they worked. Day in and day out, a seductive hum circled through the air—sell, sell, then sell some more!

After a grueling stint in traffic, Jaye punched the grimy keys of the outdated computer in the back hallway. She was ten minutes late, and the all store meeting was about to begin.

Which Lyman’s category did Jaye Davis fall under? None of the above.